Boys Being Boys

“there’s so much fun to be had in this storytelling that I do.”

Bill Cosby
America’s Predator Dad

31 Dec 2022

“As a physician, I’ve been in the room when there’s some difficult conversations happening. I don’t want the federal government involved with that, at all. I want women, doctors, local political leaders…”

Dr. Oz
Puppy Mengele

30 Oct 2022

“Everyone involved in the decision to allow Lizzo to twerk while playing James Madison’s flute needs to be deported. I don’t care if they’re citizens. Deport them somewhere.”

Andrew C. McCarthy
Who?

01 Oct 2022

“…an unbroken tradition of prohibiting abortion on pain of criminal punishment persisted from the earliest days of the common law until 1973.”

Justice Samuel Alito
History Buff

27 Jun 2022

“Women are not without electoral or political power.”

Justice Samuel Alito
Woman Expert

03 May 2022

“In my mind, I have never crossed the line with anyone, but I didn’t realize the extent to which the line has been redrawn.”

Andrew Cuomo
American Crisis

05 Jan 2022

“[Allah] endowed us with the right to life.”

Mulluh Greg Abbott
Islamic Emirate of Texas

08 Sep 2021

“I know that the ruling was a very complex and also probably temporary. I think other things will happen and that will be the big deal and the big picture. So we’ll see what would happen, but we’re studying the ruling and we’re studying also what, what they’ve done in Texas, but we have great confidence in the governor and the attorney general and the lieutenant governor.”

Donald Trump
Repeat Customer

07 Sep 2021

“This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary.”

Aunt Lydia
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

02 Sep 2021

“His team has been working around the clock, which — he should buy them drinks, but they shouldn’t drink it.”

Greg Gutfeld
Fox News Senior Rape Apologist

30 Jun 2021

“His abuse of power as an elected member of Congress to smear a fellow veteran who works as a staffer in the same halls is disgraceful and unethical.”

494 U.S. Military Vets to Dan Crenshaw (R-TX)

18 May 2021

“They’re afraid to say what’s on their mind for fear of getting into a fight. But if they have that guy or that group behind them, they’re more bold in saying what they think, because they think someone has their back. The Proud Boys are the vehicle that attracts those people and accepts them in.”

Russell Schultz
ex-Proud Boy

18 Dec 2020