Corruption

“Trump just announced for 2024. I stand with him. I never conceded my HD 14 race. Now researching my options.”

Solomon Peña
Grand Old Partier

22 Jan 2023

“Almost every person in the room clapped like a seal…they applaud, all of them, almost like they have to.”

Comrade Carlson
Almost Like He Has To

27 Dec 2022

“We do stupid things in life.”

Rep.-elect George Santos (R-NY)
If That’s Even His Real Name

27 Dec 2022

“Each card comes with an automatic chance to win amazing prizes like dinner with me. I don’t know if that’s an amazing prize, but it’s what we have.”

Donald Trump
Better Than Lincoln, Better Than Washington

21 Dec 2022

“Senator Sinema makes every decision based on one criteria: what’s best for Arizona.”

Hannah Hurley
Spokesperson / Cashier for Senator Sinema

12 Dec 2022

“SpaceX has not typically purchased large advertising packages from Twitter.”

Current and Former SpaceX Employees
God Rest Their Souls

20 Nov 2022

“If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it.”

Lindsay Graham
Deserves It

01 Nov 2022

“I know nothing of any woman having an abortion. If that had happened, I would have said there’s nothing to be ashamed of there. People have done that—but I know nothing about it.”

Herschel Walker
After all this, still not even cracking the top 10 worst NFL players ever.

08 Oct 2022

“Put on the full armor of God. Stand firm against the left’s schemes.”

Ron DeSantis
20 Pounds of Shit in a 10 Dollar Suit

20 Sep 2022

“There was no way of knowing if what they took was legitimate, or was there a plant?”

Donald Trump
Clearly Not Big Into Plants

23 Aug 2022

“He’s going to fucking lose.”

Donald Trump
Subject Matter Expert

20 Aug 2022

“Well I…legitimately, I own two houses. But, uh, one of them we’re building on—the other ones I rent.”

The Neither Great Nor Powerful Dr. Oz
Jersey Boy

20 Aug 2022

Che

“At a time when we needed all hands on deck, Liz Cheney jumped ship, dogpaddled to the other side, and is now shooting back at us.”

18 Aug 2022

“We are not a mixed race, and we do not want to become a mixed race either.”

Viktor Orbán
Hungry Hungary Hitler

07 Aug 2022

“I don’t regret anything I did on that day.”

Josh Hawley (R-MO)
Ain’t Nothin’ Gonna Break His Stride

28 Jul 2022

“I’m the fucking president—take me up to the Capitol now!”

Donald Trump
The D.C. Strangler

30 Jun 2022

“I was upset that they were not prepared for the massive cheating (as well as other lawyers around the President) I REFUSED all alcohol that evening. My favorite drink..Diet Pepsi.”

Rudy Giuliani
Asti Spumante

16 Jun 2022

“This was not me encouraging rioters.”

Josh Hawley (R-MO)
Seditious Dipshit

22 Mar 2022

“I think the American people are looking at two policy differences and recognizing that Donald Trump was absolutely on the right track when it came to Russia.”

Ronna McDaniel
RNC Chairwoman

16 Mar 2022

“I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of Ukraine — Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful.”

Donald Trump
Fucking Monster

12 Mar 2022

“WHEREAS, Representative Cheney and Kinzinger are participating in a Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse…”

Republican National Confederacy

09 Feb 2022

“We fight like hell. And if you don’t fight like hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore.”

Donald J. Trump
Traitor

06 Jan 2022

“In my mind, I have never crossed the line with anyone, but I didn’t realize the extent to which the line has been redrawn.”

Andrew Cuomo
American Crisis

05 Jan 2022

“I’m sorry, I don’t know much about ammo.”

Kyle Rittenhouse
Child, Murderer

17 Nov 2021

“I do love grilling and cooking, and that was silly, and I appreciate that everyone enjoys it.”

Mark Zuckerberg
Barbecue, Disinformation Connoisseur

01 Nov 2021

“Joe Manchin, I talk to his office every week.”

Keith McCoy
Senior Director for Federal Relations, ExxonMobil

30 Oct 2021

“Jim Jordan called me crying, groveling, begging me to go against my brother, begging me, crying for a half-hour. That’s the kind of cover-up that’s going on there.”

Adam DiSabato
Ohio State Wrestler

09 Sep 2021

“You know, I can laugh about things like the Grim Reaper, but calling me Moscow Mitch is over the top.”

Moscow Mitch McConnell (R-RU)

29 May 2021

“His abuse of power as an elected member of Congress to smear a fellow veteran who works as a staffer in the same halls is disgraceful and unethical.”

494 U.S. Military Vets to Dan Crenshaw (R-TX)

18 May 2021

“Why would you do this to anyone, let alone…the personal lawyer to the 45th president of the United States?”

Robert Costello
Idiot Lawyer’s Idiot Lawyer

30 Apr 2021

“Until we are able to determine and understand this problem and the dangerous threat it poses, our country cannot be the victims of horrendous attacks by people that believe only in Jihad…”

Donald Trump

27 Dec 2020

“I feel I’m nothing today. I feel I’m nothing. I lost my son and I feel I’m nothing.”

Mohammed Kinani

26 Dec 2020

“As the Holiday season approaches, President Trump will continue to work tirelessly for the American People.”

The White House

25 Dec 2020

“If President Trump grants me this miracle, I can honestly say I am putting everyone connected to that zoo and that industry behind me.”

Joe Exotic

23 Dec 2020

“…almost 12 million renters faced average rent and utility debts of $5,850…The estimate is almost ten times the size of the $600 checks offered in Congress’ second COVID-19 stimulus package.”

Moodys Analytics

21 Dec 2020

“…we’re going to win this election in a landslide.”

Donald Trump

11 Dec 2020

“President Trump won this election in a landslide…it’s going to be irrefutable…this is essentially a new American revolution…and I’m going to release the Kraken.”

Sidney Powell

09 Dec 2020

“…those facing hunger will swell to 1 in 6 people, from 35 million in 2019 to more than 50 million by this year’s end. The consequences are even more dire for children — 1 in 4.”

Feeding America

08 Dec 2020

“As has been stated by numerous legal scholars, I have the absolute right to PARDON myself, but why would I do that when I have done nothing wrong?”

Donald Trump

04 Dec 2020

“The president out the door needs to pardon his whole family and himself because they want this witch hunt to go on in perpetuity. They’re so full of rage and insanity against the president.”

Sean Hannity
The Richest Person at Rite-AID

02 Dec 2020

“I can tell you we’ve come to a conclusion, and Carrots, I’m sorry to tell you the result did not change. It’s too bad for Carrots.”

Donald Trump

24 Nov 2020

“Sidney Powell is practicing law on her own. She is not a member of the Trump Legal Team.”

Rudolph Giuliani

23 Nov 2020

“Did you all watch My Cousin Vinny?”

Rudolph Giuliani

21 Nov 2020

“I won the Election!”

Donald Trump

17 Nov 2020

“No, I pay tax. I pay a lot of tax. I just signed a big fat check recently for a lot of tax. I paid literally, I paid a lot of tax and you know, look, I don’t mind. I’m proud to pay it up. If I owe it, I pay it.”

Donald Trump

29 Sep 2020

“I saved his ass.”

Donald Trump

10 Sep 2020

“The pattern looked like obstruction of justice as a way of life.”

John Bolton

18 Jun 2020

“Will some people be affected? Yes. Will some people be affected badly? Yes. But we have to get our country open, and we have to get it open soon.”

Donald Trump

22 May 2020

“Yes, we drank beer. My friends and I. The boys and girls. Yes, we drank beer. I liked beer. Still like beer. We drank beer.”

Brett Kavanaugh

06 Oct 2018