Brought to you by God™

“What does Mike Johnson think about any issue under the sun? I said, well, go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it—that’s my worldview.”

Mike Johnson
Self-Described Theocrat

27 Oct 2023

“I know nothing of any woman having an abortion. If that had happened, I would have said there’s nothing to be ashamed of there. People have done that—but I know nothing about it.”

Herschel Walker
After all this, still not even cracking the top 10 worst NFL players ever.

08 Oct 2022

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.”

Matthew 6:5
The Bible®

27 Jun 2022

“…an unbroken tradition of prohibiting abortion on pain of criminal punishment persisted from the earliest days of the common law until 1973.”

Justice Samuel Alito
History Buff

27 Jun 2022

“Women are not without electoral or political power.”

Justice Samuel Alito
Woman Expert

03 May 2022

“Don’t worry, don’t pick your gender yet.”

Gov. Ron DeSantis
Florida Man

25 Feb 2022

“At this point, we think the procedures were correctly followed, and this was a righteous strike. Were there others killed? Yes, there are others killed. Who they are, we don’t know.”

Gen. Mark A. Milley
Righteous Dude

21 Sep 2021

“[Allah] endowed us with the right to life.”

Mulluh Greg Abbott
Islamic Emirate of Texas

08 Sep 2021

“I know that the ruling was a very complex and also probably temporary. I think other things will happen and that will be the big deal and the big picture. So we’ll see what would happen, but we’re studying the ruling and we’re studying also what, what they’ve done in Texas, but we have great confidence in the governor and the attorney general and the lieutenant governor.”

Donald Trump
Repeat Customer

07 Sep 2021

“This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary.”

Aunt Lydia
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

02 Sep 2021

“Against an implacable, well-entrenched, nonstate enemy like the Hamas, Israel simply needs to ‘mow the grass’ once in a while to degrade enemy capabilities.”

Efraim Inbara & Eitan Shamira
Begin-Sadat Center for Strategic Studies

19 May 2021

“Don’t worry—it will be fine, the Iron Dome will save us.”

Random Israeli

13 May 2021

“What would that look like anyway? A laser beam or light beam coming down to Earth I guess. Could that cause a fire? Hmmm, I don’t know. I hope not! That wouldn’t look so good for PG&E, Rothschild Inc, Solaren or Jerry Brown who sure does seem fond of PG&E.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Majorly Troublesome Gourd

01 Feb 2021

“America is a gift from God, preserved only by heroes who dared to fight and protect it as their own.”

Charlie Kirk
Tiny-faced Fascist Dipshit

25 Aug 2020

“I am your President of law and order, and an ally of all peaceful protesters.”

Donald Trump

05 Jun 2020

“It isn’t enough, though. I’m done with ‘thoughts and prayers’ in the wake of such tragedy.”

Ben Orbach
Author and Entrepreneur

29 Oct 2018

“I mean, in this world, this is a world with a lot of problems. And it has been a world with a lot of problems for many years. Many, many years. You could say, frankly, for many centuries.”

Donald Trump

28 Oct 2018