“We simply must be better. Our customers deserve better.”
Boeing CEO
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, but Ron DeSantis is definitely a fucking idiot.”
“You have said the actual truth.”
“What does Mike Johnson think about any issue under the sun? I said, well, go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it—that’s my worldview.”
Self-Described Theocrat
“If Jordan says he didn’t know about it, then he’s lying.”
Ohio State Wrestler
“X has remained a dangerous cesspool of content, especially for advertisers.”
But Does It?
“We have apologized for our mistake, are working to determine how it happened and make sure it never happens again.”
(Spoiler: This is the third time it’s happened.)
“The airship comes from China and is of a civilian nature”
Stitching This With Their Best Espionage Story
“While attempting to take the suspect into custody, another confrontation occurred; however, the suspect was ultimately apprehended.”
Violent Street Gang
“This one was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It did not stop.”
Monterey Park Shooting Victim