“We have apologized for our mistake, are working to determine how it happened and make sure it never happens again.”

Aramark
(Spoiler: This is the third time it’s happened.)

05 Feb 2023

“The airship comes from China and is of a civilian nature”

Chinese Foreign Ministry
Stitching This With Their Best Espionage Story

04 Feb 2023

“While attempting to take the suspect into custody, another confrontation occurred; however, the suspect was ultimately apprehended.”

Memphis Police Department
Violent Street Gang

02 Feb 2023

“This one was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It did not stop.”

Shally
Monterey Park Shooting Victim

24 Jan 2023

“Trump just announced for 2024. I stand with him. I never conceded my HD 14 race. Now researching my options.”

Solomon Peña
Grand Old Partier

22 Jan 2023

“By the way, my Corvette’s in a locked garage, okay?”

Joe Biden
Improperly Vetted

16 Jan 2023

“Virginia law does not allow 6-year-olds to be tried as adults.”

What?
Did that even need to be said?

09 Jan 2023

“I ran out of things I could even imagine to ask for.”

Rep. Matt Gaetz
Briefly forgetting about underage girls

06 Jan 2023

“Bullshit!”

Rep. Lauren Boebert
Game Recognizing Game

03 Jan 2023

“there’s so much fun to be had in this storytelling that I do.”

Bill Cosby
America’s Predator Dad

31 Dec 2022