Happy Plaguesgiving!
I Don’t Carrot All, Do U?
“I can tell you we’ve come to a conclusion, and Carrots, I’m sorry to tell you the result did not change. It’s too bad for Carrots.”
— Donald Trump
Hire a Clown, Expect a Circus
“Sidney Powell is practicing law on her own. She is not a member of the Trump Legal Team.”
— Rudolph Giuliani
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Total Landscaping
“Did you all watch My Cousin Vinny?”
— Rudolph Giuliani
Rounding the Final Turn
“We are rounding the final turn.”
— Donald Trump
Bug Carrier
“…the vice president will maintain his schedule in accordance with the C.D.C. guidelines for essential personnel.”
— Devin O'Malley, Spokesman for Mike Pence
A Few Good Something
“Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers.”
— Donald Trump
Orange Skies At Morning
“[My] policies are promoting economic growth, while still maintaining standards that allow Americans to have among the cleanest air and water in the world.”
— Donald Trump
Ember Reveal Party
“You gotta clean your floors, you gotta clean your forests.”
— Donald Trump
Officer in Training
“He was trying to get away from them, I guess, it looks like. I guess he was in very big trouble. He probably would have been killed.”
— Donald Trump
A Well Regulated Militia
“How shocked are we that 17-year-olds with rifles decided they had to maintain order when no one else would?”
— Tucker Carlson
Stop, and I’ll shoot!
“America is a gift from God, preserved only by heroes who dared to fight and protect it as their own.”
— Tiny-faced Fascist Dipshit Charlie Kirk
Owed DeJoy
“If we don’t make a deal, that means they don’t get the money. That means they can’t have universal mail-in voting; they just can’t have it.”
— Donald Trump
It‘s Just a Job
“The police have killed many white people also.”
— Donald Trump
Operation Anonymous Violence
“We’re looking at Chicago, too. We’re looking at New York. All run by very liberal Democrats. All run, really, by the radical left.”
— Donald Trump
Frijoles Supremo
“The Radical Left smear machine backfired, people are buying like crazy!”
— Donald Trump
Animals and Thugs
“Stop treating us like animals and thugs and start treating us with some respect.”
— NYPD Union Boss Mike O'Meara
Dominate the Battlespace
“The sooner that you mass and dominate the battlespace, the quicker this dissipates.”
— Mark Esper
No, You’re the Puppet
“Fact--Obama does not read his intelligence briefings nor does he get briefed in person by the CIA or DOD. Too busy I guess!”
— Donald Trump
White Walker Privilege
“This is a battle to save the Heritage, History, and Greatness of our Country!”
— Donald Trump
Deep in the Lungs of Texas
“Let’s get back to work, let’s get back to living, let’s be smart about it.”
— Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
Masterclass
“I have experience now, so I would know better than to do things like hire John Bolton, who sucks.”
— Donald Trump
Juneteenth
“It's actually an important event, an important time. But nobody had ever heard of it.”
— Donald Trump
A Way of Life
“The pattern looked like obstruction of justice as a way of life.”
— John Bolton
LBGTs for Trump
“Thank you to the LGBT community! I will fight for you while Hillary brings in more people that will threaten your freedoms and beliefs.”
— Donald Trump
Heritage Mask
“Our history as the Greatest Nation in the World will not be tampered with.”
— Donald Trump
Two Corinthians
“We're going to protect Christianity. I can say that. I don't have to be politically correct, Two Corinthians 3:17, that's the whole ballgame…is that the one you like?”
— Donald Trump
Innocent and Perfect
“The concept of chokehold sounds so innocent, so perfect.”
— Donald Trump
Fort bin Laden
“These Monumental and very Powerful Bases have become part of a Great American Heritage…my Administration will not even consider the renaming of these Magnificent and Fabled Military Installations.”
— Donald Trump
ANTIFA Provocateur
“Buffalo protester shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. @OANN I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?”
— Donald Trump
A Much More Gentle Fashion
“Ninety-nine percent of them are great, great people. The police are doing an incredible job. We're going to talk about ideas how we can do it better and how we can do it if possible in a much more gentle fashion.”
— Donald Trump
Tuckkker Carlson
“This may be a lot of things, this moment we are living through, but it is definitely not about black lives. And remember that when they come for you, and at this rate, they will. Anyone who has ever been subjected to the rage of the mob knows the feeling. It’s like being swarmed by hornets. You cannot think clearly.”
— Tucker Carlson
Quiet Please
“I was down during the day and I was there for a tiny, little short period of time. And it was much more for an inspection. There was no problem during the day.”
— Donald Trump
Prop-aganda
“I am your President of law and order, and an ally of all peaceful protesters.”
— Donald Trump
Blue Lives Matter
“When you see these thugs being thrown into the back of a paddy wagon, you just seen them thrown in, rough. I said, ‘Please don’t be too nice,’”
— Donald Trump
ANTIFA Wanted
“The United States of America will be designating ANTIFA as a Terrorist Organization.”
— Donald Trump
Total Domination
“We’re going to do something that people haven’t seen before. And you’re gonna have total domination.”
— Donald Trump
Three-Fifths Degree Murder
“Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you!”
— Donald Trump
To the Trumpmobile!
“We have just reached a very sad milestone with the coronavirus pandemic deaths reaching 100,000. To all of the families & friends of those who have passed, I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy & love for everything that these great people stood for & represent. God be with you!”
— Donald Trump
Now Serving 100,000
“This will be a Big Day for Social Media and FAIRNESS”
— Donald Trump
Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill the Poor
“California and New York must do something about their TREMENDOUS Homeless problems. They are setting records! If their Governors can’t handle the situation, which they should be able to do very easily, they must call and politely ask for help. Would be so easy with competence!”
— Donald Trump
Twelve 9/11s
“Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are 546 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that! ”
— Donald Trump
Stupid Pills
“I started taking it, because I think it's good. I've heard a lot of good stories.”
— Donald Trump
Pretend Warrior
“Save your great 2nd Amendment. It is under siege!”
— Donald Trump
My Body, My Choice
“I think wearing a face mask as I greet presidents, prime ministers, dictators, kings, queens, I don’t know, somehow I don’t see it for myself. I just don’t. Maybe I’ll change my mind.”
— Donald Trump
Empthathy Graveyeard
“Will some people be affected? Yes. Will some people be affected badly? Yes. But we have to get our country open, and we have to get it open soon.”
— Donald Trump
Fuck Your Feelings
“When you test, you have a case. When you test you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.”
— Donald Trump
MAGA Mass Graves
“It's going to disappear. One day it’s like a miracle—it will disappear”
— Donald Trump
Tesla Biohazard
“California should let Tesla & @elonmusk open the plant, NOW. It can be done Fast & Safely!”
— Donald Trump
MAGA Bodybag
“It's going to go away without a vaccine…and we’re not going to see it again, hopefully, after a period of time.”
— Donald Trump
Mission Accomplished
