“What does Mike Johnson think about any issue under the sun? I said, well, go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it—that’s my worldview.”
Self-Described Theocrat
“If Jordan says he didn’t know about it, then he’s lying.”
Ohio State Wrestler
“X has remained a dangerous cesspool of content, especially for advertisers.”
But Does It?
“We have apologized for our mistake, are working to determine how it happened and make sure it never happens again.”
(Spoiler: This is the third time it’s happened.)
“The airship comes from China and is of a civilian nature”
Stitching This With Their Best Espionage Story
“While attempting to take the suspect into custody, another confrontation occurred; however, the suspect was ultimately apprehended.”
Violent Street Gang
“This one was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It did not stop.”
Monterey Park Shooting Victim
“Trump just announced for 2024. I stand with him. I never conceded my HD 14 race. Now researching my options.”
Grand Old Partier
“By the way, my Corvette’s in a locked garage, okay?”
Improperly Vetted
“Virginia law does not allow 6-year-olds to be tried as adults.”
Did that even need to be said?