

“We have apologized for our mistake, are working to determine how it happened and make sure it never happens again.”
Aramark
(Spoiler: This is the third time it’s happened.)
(Spoiler: This is the third time it’s happened.)
“The airship comes from China and is of a civilian nature”
Chinese Foreign Ministry
Stitching This With Their Best Espionage Story
Stitching This With Their Best Espionage Story
“While attempting to take the suspect into custody, another confrontation occurred; however, the suspect was ultimately apprehended.”
Memphis Police Department
Violent Street Gang
Violent Street Gang
“This one was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It did not stop.”
Shally
Monterey Park Shooting Victim
Monterey Park Shooting Victim
“Trump just announced for 2024. I stand with him. I never conceded my HD 14 race. Now researching my options.”
Solomon Peña
Grand Old Partier
Grand Old Partier
“By the way, my Corvette’s in a locked garage, okay?”
Joe Biden
Improperly Vetted
Improperly Vetted


“Virginia law does not allow 6-year-olds to be tried as adults.”
What?
Did that even need to be said?
Did that even need to be said?
“I ran out of things I could even imagine to ask for.”
Rep. Matt Gaetz
Briefly forgetting about underage girls
Briefly forgetting about underage girls


“Bullshit!”
Rep. Lauren Boebert
Game Recognizing Game
Game Recognizing Game
“there’s so much fun to be had in this storytelling that I do.”
Bill Cosby
America’s Predator Dad
America’s Predator Dad